Kiwa van Riel | 宮原紀倭
“How do you cope with the feeling of being excluded?”
Please share your answer to Kiwa’s question in the comment area below.
|Born in||the Netherlands|
|Lived in||the Netherlands - Japan|
|Reading and Writing||⚫⚫⚪⚪⚪|
|Speaks||Dutch - Japanese - English|
Being a skateboarder more than half of my life , when i get the feelings of being excluded I just completely ignore everybody’s downgrading act to where I use my skateboarding attitude with everything i learned from it , and show that were all different as we should embrace it and not to shunned down because of that.
Even having both Japanese parents, I also can recognize the feeling to be excluded or just being different. So I think feelings of “not fitting in” is rather universal. We are all different and yet very similar. So the experience of being born in two cultures is very unique and so precious that many people can relate and appreciate.
Perceived as Indonesian in the Netherlands and Dutch in Indonesia. That’s how it is for me. So…. I end up with a desire to be some place where I actually consider myself an outsider, which makes me travel to all sorts of places as often as I can.
Often felt the exclusion growing up in Japan. I felt Japanese myself but was never accepted. I was a foreigner….I still yet to feel accepted…. in Japanese environment, but learning to. I guess the first step is to accept who you are.
Be ok with you. allow you to be the mixed person that you are. Living in New York City now and feel totally a New Yorker.
Definitely not “part of the club” when I lived in Japan. Sadly, some of my family members felt this way also.
I am often excluded in Japan for being hafu because people label me as a foreigner who knows how to speak Japanese well. However, I have a strong connection to my Japanese roots. I speak Japanese, carry a Japanese name and my father and his side of the family live there. All those things help me override the feeling of exclusion I receive from strangers. Friends and family don’t make me feel excluded. It is only those who don’t understand who you are and where you come from.
I often feel alone in my experience, but I try to remember that I’m not. Also, I don’t believe that belonging is necessary to establishing a connection with others. Feeling like I don’t belong creates a challenge, but it’s a challenge that has allowed me to seek a deeper understanding with people who are different from me.
I exclude them back if I ever feel excluded.